Today I had an interview at Charter. How many people get to say that in their lives, excluding the people who work there and interviewed before. It's a big step for me, even with Express Scripts in my portfolio.
I figure if they can help me land a contracting gig and renew it after six months again and again, that shows a lot of faith on their part in my expanding skill set (including Flash). At some point in the future, I might even become a customer and switch from AT&T. Who knows.
And now for something completely different. For those interested in How Fast To Clean Up Your Apartments (or for us programmers: Sorting Algorithms) Quicksort is so-named for a reason, as you'll see :)
So I had an idea from church... on this blog I will soon post various incidences in my life that I have experienced that have convinced me that there is a God. Right now there are too many for me to list.
Sometimes I love relishing the possibility that I might be ahead of the curve here for even a big shot as himself. Saying that "he wishes to have the kind of love he had for Kim" is A Bad Thing, because now Kim is put on a pedestal, and raises the possibility that anybody who aims to fill her shoes will only get ranted at on NBC years later, should things turn sour again. Always interesting to note how NBC loves reporting about itself recently. I don't really mind it though, since I'm a fan of Today.
I read this online. I was surfing around, from Matt Lauer's trip starting tomorrow (followmatt.com), following curiously from link to link, and I saw this article that hit home to me about online relationships:
“Inevitably, I’m going to find something we don’t agree on. And as soon as I find that one thing, then things start to cascade so everything else I learn about you suddenly now feels like more evidence that we are dissimilar and we don’t get along,” Norton said.
“Once you start this process of saying, ‘Ah, it’s not going well,’ it’s like an avalanche, basically,” Norton said.
Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17122392/
I feel that this is what happened between Katrina and I. I still believe in miracles as common as a beautiful flower or a playful hampster. I reaaaaaally hope that she has 100% confidence in her decision, just as one would wish to have 100% certainty in one's decision to get married, (If anybody has any objections to the joining of these two persons, speak now or may they forever hold their peace). I just want the right thing to be done, and since I do not have every answer, I thus believe in an entity who does. And of course, that is why I'm going to mass again tonight to hear His divine message :)
You know that blog entry I mentioned a while back about me being comforted in the message of being burned in one's pursuits of love? It's finally posted to YouTube, so I get to link the video to the CSC's front page tonight. :)
Here is a really old wallpaper that I made seven years ago while I was working for The Current, and taking a break playing Star Wars Episode One Pod Racer. Enjoy life's smallest lessons. :)
Today I was bestowed the hallowed documents of the truck shipments for tomorrow's big night. This will pretty much be my first chance of showing her that I can take on more responsibilities with these shipments. I was told I might even get a key to the place once I get a background check. I hope I can even score a raise. My bank account will be very happy with me if I do. I'm excited. I even bought black olive spread to celebrate, for good luck, and because of a wierd dream I had a while back. This has got to be the healthiest stuff in the world. I bought some pasta, and sausage last night, and will be mixing it in soon. Someday I'm sure that I will become a good a chef as Jim from Sur Le Table. :)
Meanwhile, my web design firm Kunst Designs sits quietly in cyberspace, waiting to pounce on the opportunity to serve more eager clients. With the advent of projects from Michael and Hope from H/D, it will fill its eager portfolio with gusto. Also, Christine just moved back into town tonight from Las Vegas. Turns out, our parents only live a few miles apart in West County. Small world.
And yes, this blog is typo-free. However if you notice a slight cultural or linguistic error please feel free to email idontgiveadamn@erikbuschardt.com, where it will be filtered as spam. :D
I can't wait for Where In The World Is Matt Lauer to start on the Today Show, Monday the 30th. I hope that this year he shows up in Copenhagen, my dad's hometown. That would absolutely be the Shizznick!!!
General Municipal Election Day for Saint Louis County was April 3, and I just got paid today in the mail. Along with the check and statement came a letter that said that there was an 11.64% turnout. Wow. People really don't care to vote for their mayors, huh?
If they liked them, at least they should vote for the incumbents, right?
But then again, the Board knew this and scheduled to try out the new voting machines before the larger elections come up, where it'd be critical. So I say they're doing a fairly good job. Thumbs up. :)
And I can take this to the bank because my savings will really appreciate all that I have borrowed from it! :)
The CSC's motto is "Igniting Faith". Well recently, as I've been spending more time there to hang out, pray, eat dinners after work, and study for my finals, I find myself thinking more and more about fire, and igniting stuff, and just events that happen in our lives. For example last night as I was stuck on a proof for my Group theory math homework, (Let A, B and C be groups, and let alpha, beta and gamma be homomorphisms with γ*α=β. If α is surjective, prove that Ker(γ)=α[ker(β)].), I took a study break and went upstairs to pray in the chapel, whereby I saw a girl sobbing over a breakup. After getting her some tissues to dry her face with, she said that she's been in and out of this relationship for six years, and that he wouldn't help himself with drug problems and mood swings that he's been having. I just wanted to help her so I sat there in the front pew with her for about an hour, trying to ask the right questions to help her digest this. As time went on however I started to realize that all she needed was silence, until she felt comfortable enough to let it out. Definitely, something ignited to bring her here.
It was about then that I thought to myself that the CSC is truly a safe place to be, a place where you could trust that your belongings will not be stolen if you go to the bathroom or upstairs to pray for an hour. One could even feel free to bring relationship issues here and deal with them with peace.
Then out of the blue Kali shows up on Yahoo, and I instant message her cause I knew I would regret it if I didn't at least say hi after all these years. This must be an answer to some random prayer that I prayed a while ago about not having any regrets.
And I'm meeting this week with a classmate to study for finals because this garbage keeps boring me. But someday I'm sure I'm destined to like it at least. I'll work to make sure that day comes soon.
1649 STL Time: So I'm listening to a song by Luther Vandross, and start to wonder about if he was himself successful in love with the opposite sex. Wikipedia had this to say:
Personal life
During Vandross's entire career, he was dogged by questions regarding his sexuality. A lifelong bachelor, his name was never romantically linked in the media with women. Although Vandross never explicitly denied being gay, he never publicly acknowledged it either. He generally attempted to steer questioners away from the issue altogether by saying that his busy lifestyle made marriage difficult and indicated that it wasn't what he wanted.[12] After his death, an article in Out magazine had several of Vandross' friends, including gay comedy writer Bruce Vilanch, claiming that Luther was indeed a very unhappily closeted gay man.[13]
Makes me wonder if I need to cross-check with other sources or is this a satisfactory explanation. For now I'll leave it alone, because Smashing Pumpkins is playing now. (I'm listening to XM-Channel 9.)
Today was interesting. After a day of work where I finally arranged the "Green" section in the back room of H/D just the way I like it (a way that made more sense than how it was before), and stocked the freezer, I grabbed a dinner and headed to church. I wondered if there was going to be a mass, since there was nobody there, save for Pete and Troy hanging around, while I ate my dinner from Panda Express in the Commons. I looked at the HDTV above the fireplace, which was giving a slide show of construction pictures from last year's renovation. Then I remembered... I was supposed to head to Circuit City to buy an antenna. If the one I bought didn't work, I'd just return it, until I had what would work with my new TV.
So I kept wondering... why the low attendance? Turns out, Wash U had finals this week. Mine aren't until next month. But still, I wasn't as anxious as these people were. I didn't understand this anxiety. Even Grace, a girl I met while listening to the mass, was so worried about her 30 page papers due in a week for her law degree. I felt sorry for her.
Then there was the mass itself. I hope it got recorded and I have a chance to post it onto the CSC's site. I want to view it again; it was that good. It was about how, in a quest for love, or what anybody would desire (grades, money, recognition, what have you...) you'd get burned along the way. But as usual, it hit home and was just what I needed to hear in only the way Father Gary could say it. He's such a great orator. I smiled a lot during the homily cause I was deeply comforted :)
Then I talked to Patrick after mass, because as usual, being the great friend he is, he made some time to talk to me. He told me that Hotornot is now free (reeeeeally??! :), and that dating websites are not out of the question when hoping for that special someone, but to rather pursue friendships, and let the right one come along. With that, I went home smiling because I believe that God made a special girl just for me, and that He will guide me to her, no matter what, even if I met her already, and don't even realize she will become my lovely wife at some point. In the meantime, I need to raise my head and keep on walking. And also, to worry about finals. :D
This afternoon after work I spoke with one of the maintenance workers, (I think his name was Alfredo, but it could have been Alphonso, Alberto, but I think it was Alfredo). We talked about life, politics, the difficulties in learning English, and about immigrants in the States. Cool thing is, I spoke to him almost entirely in my rusty Spanish. :) Shows that my knowledge of Spanish maybe isn't so rusty after all! We must have talked for a good 15-20 minutes, too. Pretty cool. Then I went downstairs to chill, and have a warm shower. I think I have a blister on my right foot from all my walking last night downtown. I must have walked a good 2 to 3 miles for last night's implosion, all in a calm, beautiful Saint Louis Summer Night through Forest Park :)
In other news, my other website, Kunst Designs, just got launched!! HTTP://WWW.KUNSTDESIGNS.COM... Must Bookmark, People! :)
9:06 STL Time: Grrr... I was distracting myself on a calm Saturday night at my apartment with a Harry Potter movie when my TV finally died, again. Most likely, it will revive itself after I cast a spell on it. Read: a trip to Circuit City to buy an antenna tomorrow night after work. I have two new TV's waiting in the wings. Take a left at the flying black car, past the trolls, and don't forget the invisible cloak. Wheee!!
So this evening after work, for an interesting and random Friday night, I went to witness (first from the Forest Park side, then I ventured across Hampton to witness from the Turtle Park side) the Tamm Avenue Bridge implosion. I must say, the advent to the event was worth more than the event itself. There were so many people lining the highway, and I got to chat and joke with some of them. For example, when a worker was running across the bridge to finalize things, we all yelled "STREAKER!!!... YEAH!!!... WOOHOO!!!"
Another example is when the trucks blared their horn to signal the start, it didn't really start at that point. We all immediately booed in disgust. I shouted out how lame their attempt was at scaring the bridge by honking at it. I went about it Regis-Philbin-style: "What are ya DOIN'!! Ya gotta try AGAIN!!" lol... Then somebody else called for reinforcements to show up, at which point news helicopters started hovering above us. Ironic.
A third example which I loved is the chant: "Save!!... The!!... Tamm!!...... Save!!... The!!... Tamm!!..." Fists raised and everything like we, the angry mob, were ready to crush the fences and flood into the empty lanes of the highway. Of course, this last one is moot, because this bridge will simply be rebuilt like Compton Avenue was, as part of The New I-64. But still, good times had by all sober enough to venture out of the bar across the street (Oakland Ave -- the detour for the weekend along that stretch of HWY 40). As for me, I had a yummy Fanta With No Ice courtesy of Michael, which was already keeping me awake :)
As for the event itself, it was kinda awesome. First, a yellow laser light seemed to flash down the median barrier, then a sonic boom and the bridge was pulled down to the roadbed and immediately engulfed in dust. When the dust settled, we walked closer to the collapsed bridge, and I claimed a piece of concrete from a worker who was nice enough to hand pieces out from the other side of the fence, then I grabbed a wooden stick off the ground that indicated earlier that day where the fence was to lie for the event. It would have been cool to have one of the green signs that said "Tamm Ave", or one of the yellow signs that said "14' 11 ''", but I figure those have been assigned already to workers or family members of said workers.
Just remember folks, words will never hurt me. Most likely, if those words are hurtful, I'll be praying for ya. But yeah, interesting night. Now time for bed.
I'm having second thoughts about the ribbon idea from yesterday. During my chat with Wendy, it became apparent that I'd need to buy two bands of ribbon, a glue gun, glue sticks for said gun, and maybe even a set of clips and/or fasteners to attach these things to our aprons. I'd get it from Michaels (there's one in North Saint Louis 5 minutes from the airport near Lindbergh, which is the one I'd probably have gone to). I thought about going to the one in O'Fallon, IL yesterday while I was gathering my things, but that would only stir up more emotions that I wouldn't have been able to handle.
I'd be spending money that I didn't have, from my Credit Card, again. (Borrowing from the future, as it were.) So that's kind of A Bad Thing, and a reason why I'm thinking about not doing this after all. I don't really want to ask for handouts at work to see who wants a handmade VT ribbon, because it's not a guarantee that everybody will care about this issue as much as I did yesterday. My emotions seem to ride a roller coaster lately. For example, last night around 10, I had to stop working on my PE3 programming assignment about PERL scripting, (http://www.kunstdesigns.com/erik/PE3/), because I was getting too emotional. Boy, lonely nights sure are hard to bear.
I wanted to do the ribbon thing initially because in my mourning from my breakup, I could perhaps sympathize with the VT community and feel closer to them in spirit. So maybe I'll just keep VT in my thoughts as I've been doing since this whole thing started this week.
Gosh, this blog might actually be therapy after all. I hope I'm doing the right thing by publishing my thoughts instead of keeping them bottled in. I hope to God that the people who I've gotten to know over the years can benefit from knowing about me more and what makes me tick, in the name of deepening the friendships that I do have. I also trust God that no hacker or pedophile will come in and randomly harass me someday.
This morning I wanted to read about one of my largest life-issues emotionally, which is my fear of abandonment. I read that Fear of abandonment is heavily influenced in one's upbringing, and that can translate into adult relationships. It stems from a lack of trust that the other person will stick by you and leave you to fend for yourself. Then I started to really worry again. Was I doing that in our relationship? Jesus, I hope not. I know that she loved me and that I should have trusted her more. I know that I'd try to trust her more if I was given another chance. I trusted her completely though, so I don't know specifically what to improve. She became a part of my life in so many ways. That's what makes this so hard. Were things really destined to be this way?
So upon surfing this afternoon for Things That Make Me Happy did I discover a nifty little site called RaiseTheTitanic.com, where there are plenty of collections of production photographs of this 1980 movie to enjoy if you're a Titanic lover like me. See you in 2012 for the 100th anniversary!! :)
So I had an idea that came from an email from UMSL Student Affairs this afternoon. The email was to rally support for the community of Virginia Tech by showing their school colors, orange and maroon, tomorrow, April 20th around campus. Well, since I couldn't make the rally tomorrow night because I am working, I thought that I'd call Hope to see if we can wear those colors in the store. I questioned myself by asking if customers would recognize that those colors are the VT colors, but Hope suggested that she would talk to her boss to ask permission, and that in the meantime, she would run the idea by Wendy, so that perhaps at least we could wear ribbons with those colors. That would work well, since this tragedy would last a while, until people could come to a closure in their lives.
It also helps my morale in coming up with this idea and helping to spread the message. I'm boycotting NBC for a while, for airing Cho's message of hatred. I feel that helping others is the best way to come to terms with my own loss of a relationship with Katrina. I mean, all I lost was a relationship, and we might even grow to be friends yet. In comparison to VT, that's pretty small beans to count. ((Hugs))
So I've decided to start a blog today. Hopefully this will be A Good Thing for me and my life. I've decided to call this blog "The Pursuit of Happyness" in honor of the Will Smith movie from 2006. I can share emotions and receive feedback, announce anything I want to family or friends, or in some cases, announce anything I want to the world, so this can be a tool of empowerment. One can never know what will happen, right?
So today I was honored with a phone call from my boss from Harry and David, Hope. She just wanted to offer her support with anything that she could do, and just say that she was there for me if I ever needed her. After we were done talking, I felt really happy. Sometimes people who you didn't know care about you that much can show their true colors and show that they really care about you so much in your time of need.
Ok, my eyes are starting to well up again from being so grateful. Perhaps I should clean this messy apartment of mine. Problem is, I have so much random computer parts that can be put to use. Some is obsolete, others are dusty and don't work so I'll trash them, and in theory, everything can be sold on Ebay for at least a penny each :D
