The Pursuit of Happyness

When it comes to online dating, people are over the stigma.

Or are they?

It seems like people are of multiple mindsets when it comes to putting themselves out there online. They know it’s basically normal now and they know lots of people who have done it. Yet they still feel a nagging sensation that they’re selling themselves. These two mindsets come into direct conflict when it comes time to put their picture up. It’s one thing to put a profile up, it’s another thing to place an image of themselves next to it.

Then they start to rationalize.

“I want to find someone who likes me for who I am inside, not for my looks. If all they’re looking for is a hotty, that’s just not for me. I want true compatibility and that starts with the brain, the heart, and the soul - not the measurements.”

I totally agree. The funny thing is that these are the very same people who do photos-only searches. Hmm, why is that? Well, I have a few theories about why photo profiles are essential to online dating in general.

1) INSTINCTS: While emotional attraction does figure prominently in the compatibility equation, physical compatibility plays a part, too. If one were to look at it in a linear fashion, physical compatibility is usually the first part of the chemistry experiment. Why? Nature dictates that we don’t put a lot of time into talking to prospective dates that might totally turn us off. These physical attributes that either attract or repel us can be more subtle than breast size or height. It can come down to the prominence of the brow, the curve of the shoulders, the bone structure, the eyebrows, the shape of the lips, etc. Bottom line: let the person who would be attracted to your type find you and contact you.

2) FEAR OF THE LET DOWN: Everyone has a standard when it comes to their ideal mate’s physical appearance. But let’s concede that their standard is *kinda* malleable. Imagine getting emotionally invested in someone, spending hours upon hours chatting with them, only to meet up with them and realize that it simply couldn’t work out. Yes, maybe you’ve just made a new friend. But it’s still a let down that most people would want to avoid. Plus, as a people, we’re just too busy for that.

3) PERSONALITY SHOWS IN THE FACE: As I’ve written here before, intuition is the sum total of all your experiences and knowledge applied in an instant. Looking into someone’s face, you can often apply your intuition to figuring out what they might be like. It’s not always 100% right, but it is a natural thing to do. Sometimes it can reveal things that wouldn’t come out verbally in their profile.

If you want to put a photo up but aren’t sure where to find one or how to upload it, visit the Mia Bella Profile Salon for help. If you’re ready to post a photo right now, click here.

Todd

Sr. Writer/Yahoo! Personals

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